Re: Just a joke.

From: <George>
Date: Tue Jul 05 2005 - 11:09:00 EDT


There are several more points that got lost somewhere. A couple that I can remember are:
1b. Hole in the middle is to be centered in the material, so that tubing is perfectly tubular, or for pipe, pipular.

  1. Flanges are to be separated by a sealing material, such as cork, gasket, or rubber. Mud and dung are not usually acceptable.

George McKinney

Great one.. But looks incomplete at end... isn't it.

Regards,

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Subject: [PipingDesign] Just a joke.

READ THE SPECS...
Mr. Santa Singh is a brilliant engineer from Patiala College of
Engineering and Mr. Banta Singh is his boss, a gold-medallist from
Jalandhar University. Both of them are serving for Punjab Pipes whose
owner is Ms. Gurujit Kaur.

In one of the tenders Mr. Santa Singh has declared the pipe specs.

Prepared by: SANTA SINGH
Approved by: BANTA SINGH

  1. All pipe is to be made of a long hole surrounded by metal or plastic,
    centered around the hole.
  2. All pipe is to be hollow throughout the entire length - do not use
    holes whose length is different length from the pipe.
  3. The ID (Inside Diameter of all pipe must not exceed the OD (Outside
    Diameter) - otherwise the hole will be on the outside.
  4. All pipe is to be supplied with nothing in the hole, so that water,
    steam or other stuff can be put inside at a later date.
  5. All pipe should be supplied without rust; this can be more readily
    applied at the job site.
    NOTE: Some vendors are now able to supply pre-rusted pipes. If available
    in your area, this product is recommended, as it will save a great deal of
    time at the job site.
  6. All pipe over 500ft (150m) in length should have the words "LONG PIPE"
    clearly painted on each side at the end, so that the contractor knows it's
    a long pipe.
  7. Pipe over 2 miles (3.2km) in length must also have the words "LONG
    PIPE" painted in the middle, so the contractor will not have to walk the
    entire length of the pipe to determine whether or not it is a long pipe or
    a short pipe.
  8. All pipe over 6ft (1.83m) in diameter must have the words "LARGE PIPE"
    painted on it, so the contractor will not mistake it for small pipe.
  9. Flanges must be used on all pipe. Flanges must have holes for bolts,
    quite separate from the big hole in the middle.
  10. When ordering 90 or 30-degree elbows, be sure to specify left-hand or
    right-hand, otherwise you will end up going the wrong way.
  11. Be sure to specify to your vendor whether you want level, uphill or
    downhill pipe. If you use downhill pipes for going uphill, the water will
    flow the wrong way.
  12. All couplings should have either right-hand or left-hand threads, but
    do not mix the threads, otherwise as the coupling is being screwed on one
    pipe, it is being unscrewed from the other.
  13. All pipes shorter than 1/8in (3mm) are very uneconomical in use,
    requiring many joints. They are generally known as washers.
  14. Joints in pipes for piping water must be watertight. Those in pipes
    for compressed air, however, need only be airtight.
  15. Lengths of pipes may be welded or soldered together. This method is
    not recommended for concrete or earthenware pipes.
  16. Other commodities are often confused with pipes. These include:
    conduit

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[Non-text portions of this message have been removed] Received on Tue Jul 05 11:09:00 2005

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